CAROLYN’S BIRTH
Don and I decided that it was time to get a playmate for Cindy. Phyllis, Don’s sister, worked for a doctor and she arranged for an adoption with one of the single mothers through her doctor. I still remember the call that came the 8th of November saying that a baby girl was born! On November 11, 1965, we drove to the hospital and what a thrill when this dark, red-haired baby girl was put into our arms. We registered her as Carolyn Gayle Harms—and off she went with us! Cindy was real curious about the baby—but she really didn’t want to have anything to do with her. We finally talked her into taking a picture together with us along with her cousin Clarice at the Lovegren’s house.
Carolyn was a very easy-going baby and she was such a wonderful addition to our home. Don had agreed to get up for night feeding after the second week and when it came his tum, she forgot to wake up! We had lots of fun as the weeks went by cuddling, feeding and loving our daughter. Whenever a friend of Cindy’s came over, they would crawl into the rocking chair together and hold her and have their picture taken with this new baby.
My health really took a serious twist at this time right before Christmas. New babies, Christmas coming up and all this commotion made it very difficult for me to keep pushing like I needed to. Thinking I was sick with the flu, I went to bed with a pan at the side of my bed. I woke up and knew something was different when I finished throwing up. Don put on the light and there in the pan was at least a cup or more of pure red blood. We called our neighbor, Daisy Stauffer, and I walked to the car with Don. Before I reached the kitchen, I had fainted dead away. They immediately called the ambulance and I was in the hospital for a week.
Grandma Harms came to our house to take care of the two girls. Don noticed that she had a very difficult time in handling our strong-willed Cindy. While I was in the hospital being treated for an ulcer, never did the doctor sit down to discuss what was causing this dilemma. On Christmas day, I was dismissed and we all went to Phyllis’s house for a short time of lunch. Even though it all seemed too much, it was such a special day with our brand new baby girl!
Little Carolyn was a good baby and even though Cindy had been very jealous at first—even resorting to crawling—she soon decided that this new baby was a lot of company. They found many fun things to do together as they grew older. Together with Richard, David, Carolyn and Jill, they put together a kool-aid stand, staged a wedding, and made mud pies on the back-yard glider.
Carolyn was our entertainer. She had such a sweet spirit that made life fun. Dress-up was her favorite activity as a toddler. I also remember a black skirt she loved so much; we redid it several times so she could continue wearing it. Kids seemed to gravitate to her because of her personality.
We had a teenage neighbor girl, Kathy, who was a wonderful babysitter. She would always bring little projects to cut, glue, color, etc. that the girls both loved. They would play with these for the longest time! One, I remember, was a life-size paper doll!
Life continued being difficult for me. I can remember asking God what is happening, why is it so hard to keep going? Because the doctors were not acknowledging any problems, I was keeping it pushed down wondering what could be the matter with ME. The Lord promises that nothing is wasted in our life but that He will use all events to work out His perfect plan. God did not desire these difficulties for my life, but in His divine knowledge He was allowing this very persistent “Mom” to learn how to walk in trusting God when the light at the end of the tunnel seemed very faint!
It was approximately at this time of my life that I met Florence LaRue. We began to work together as Pioneer Girl’s leaders. She has been a truly wonderful friend in my life. We would do so many things together and her calm, always positive contribution encouraged me to find better ways to relate to my family and circumstances than I had here-to-fore. Florence has modeled the Christian life for me close-up and her generous, loving spirit has helped me tremendously in my quest to find God’s direction in my life!
THE SCHOOL YEARS
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Site of Enns Pontiac, which was established by Jack and John Enns in 1936 and closed its doors in 2009. |
Even with all that, it took my body over a year to feel like a “people again.” I was amazed at my emotions, for instead of relief I found myself struggling with bitterness—bitterness at the doctors, at Don for not being more involved in finding me help, but ultimately I realized I was angry at God. “God, I don’t know how not to be angry at this time. You show me how to experience your grace for this tragedy in my life!” And God did—but I was to struggle intermittently especially with the realization that physically I wasn’t able to attend to my children as I would have liked because neither the energy nor the emotional strength were adequate in those years.
We sold our house and moved to Reedley so Don would be close to his job. Cindy started third grade and Carolyn started kindergarten. A job opened up for half days as the secretary to our City Program Director, Nick Pavlovich. This job was good for me and still I could be home when the kids came home from school.
Life moves on! We loved our new neighborhood. It was close to downtown, we had much more room in our new home, and the neighbors across the street were Abundio and Manuella Islas with ten children! The girls had many friends right in this one family. Manuella was a wonderful Christian woman and soon we were meeting regularly for fellowship and encouragement.
Both girls liked school a lot and got very good grades. Carolyn got a very good background in reading by phonics and we could tell that it made a difference in her ability to read very difficult assignments at an early age. Cindy seemed to excel in drawing, and teachers commented on her leadership abilities at this age already. Cindy also excelled in track and set a record in the mile as well as qualified for the Junior Olympics. Carolyn seemed to do better at team sports and was chosen as pitcher for the Miss America softball team she played with. Her calmness under pressure became a real asset as she pitched the team to many victories. She brought home trophies to show off her accomplishments. In later grade school years, she did very well in basketball. She had the fun-loving personality that everyone liked. They both enjoyed horses and spent many Saturdays at the youth ranch. Cindy’s friend Candi Klassen had some horses and they had fun riding around the countryside on them.
Both girls loved their Barbie dolls and they played lots with the clothes I made for their dolls. Even though I worked part-time, I managed to be actively involved in PTA as well as the Pioneer Girls programs at church. We worked together on cooking assignments, hikes, leaf collecting, etc. for their badges for the Wednesday night programs. I would plan at least one event each week to do something special together with them.
When Cindy was in the third grade, I remember getting a call from the school that she had fallen from the exercise bars and we needed to take her to the doctor. Her fall was broken by her elbow and x-rays showed that the ball at the edge of her elbow was completely knocked out of the socket. This required a major surgery right at Halloween time—and exercise that required pretty constant discipline. Her sister and cousins went tricks or treating for her and had quite a large stash of candy for her in the hospital. Cindy worked diligently at her exercises and got 99% function back from that elbow.
My job at the city was moving into a three-fourths position and I wanted to be home when the kids came home so I quit that job. I was only home for couple of years when Harold Enns suggested I do the Immanuel books—60 hours a month [Immanuel is a Mennonite Brethren school; see here]. That job was a challenge! It seldom took less than 120 hours and was a constant learning of bookkeeping I had not previously done before. This job required keeping three sets of books. The plus was that I could do most of it at home. Also, I was there when Cindy moved into Immanuel and it helped me to be aware of how things operated at that school. I worked for a couple of years (over a year even after I had asked them to replace me)—and after training another girl, I had to go back again and train another person as the first girl had moved away.
Both girls took piano lessons. Cindy took two years with a teacher she really liked. Carolyn quit after her first year because he wasn’t the right teacher for her. The following year, the kid’s choir director convinced that she was musically talented, talked her into trying some lessons on the piano with her. When she moved out of town, we found another popular teacher who taught her for five years and helped Carolyn to become an excellent pianist.
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Yosemite National Park |
A highlight for our family was the time that we hosted three Japanese Jr. Highers. Their names were Yoshie, Kaoru and Mutsumi. They could not speak English but they brought dictionaries both of English and Japanese and it was amazing how much we could communicate. We wrote to the girls for many years and later hosted Yoshie for a summer at our house and the following summer we were able to entertain both Yoshie and her sister.
Our family wanted to be involved in a project together helping someone so we decided that we would take a foster girl into our home. We asked for a baby but they had an eight-year-old and together we agreed to take Elaine Rodriguez into our family. She loved our home and the attention we gave her. But soon she discovered we had rules and disciplines, something which in the five to six places she’d been moved to had been sadly lacking. Elaine had a quiet resistance, and after several years we realized we could no longer help her. This also seemed to be a very difficult experience for Carolyn, who needed more time and attention than she was getting. We noticed a change in her personality. After one and a half years we decided through counseling that it would be best for Elaine to move back to an uncle who wanted to take her to his home.
It was during this time that my Internist decided that I must go off of the prednisone. After having taken prednisone for ten years, then going without for approximately six months, I began to get the tired, achy feeling just as I had done years previously. Knowing the doctors would not give me that medication unless it was a life or death matter, I began to really seriously watch my eating, cutting out sugars, taking mega vitamins and eating mostly whole grains and vegetables. Over the years I discovered that it did make a difference and it seemed to get better by years rather than by days.
Both girls began to pack fruit at a packing shed for the summers. They worked by piece work and this was quite a challenge for it could pay well if they packed thoroughly and quickly, but it took discipline and concentration. Buying their clothes for school became a real problem as they did not have time off in-between to do their school shopping. We decided to go to the coast where they could do more diversified things for our week’s vacation. We had wonderful trips of fun and shopping—and I got to read which was something I hadn’t been able to get much in for sometime.
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